This is a monthly electronic magazine for anyone who wants to be a better leader, coach, facilitator, or simply, to tune up their people skills. It is a complimentary publication, devoted to the next evolution of Quality Thinking.
Publisher: © Key Associates, LLC, 2012 ISSN # 1545-8873
“Man is affected not by his circumstances, but rather the view he takes of them.” — Albert Ellis re-quoting William James
When things go wrong, what do you tell yourself? Listen to your own internal dialogue. Is it negative, permanent ("This will ruin my career"), pervasive ("People are always like this"), and personal (I must be really incompetent")?
Begin to dispute your pessimistic explanations, and talk back to the inner voice. "Well, that was a learning experience." "This guy must be having a bad day." "No point in being down on myself – mistakes like this happen to everyone." Emerge from helplessness, take control of your thinking, and energize yourself into action. Optimism is learnable. And it is infectious.
The correlates of optimism are:
When bad things happen, Martin Seligman (in Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life, 2006) tells us that the art of hope is finding temporary and specific causes for misfortune. He also encourages us to focus on the changeable, the specific, and the non-personal. (I didn’t do anything to call this on myself. Next time I’ll ask for help.)
For the next misfortune you encounter this week, reframe it as a learning experience. “Well, at least that is out of the way. What a learning.”
copyright ©2012 by dr. m. k. key on behalf of key associates
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